If you couldn’t tell by the infrequent blogging, video content, and social media presence in general, I am currently in the midst of fighting one of my hardest battles yet: graduation, and all the struggles involved in preparing for life after.

But surprisingly, school isn’t what’s occupying most of my energy these days.

At the end of 2020, I took a risk and applied for a job as an assistant coach to my high school swim team. The winter semester was fine since I didn’t have college during my break. But the spring, oh man, it’s been tough coordinating all of this.

So, why am I writing this backstory? Tomorrow is our high school meet. We host twice a year, and for the first one, we were able to rely on people who had been running it for years to run it once again for us. This time, however, they won’t be present. With no one to run the meet software and timing system, I was forced to step up.

That’s right. Though running a swim meet computer system wasn’t in the job description, here we are. I’m simply doing what must be done.

But I didn’t realize how much the stress would wear and tear on me over the past couple weeks. There are A LOT of moving parts—physically, digitally, and interpersonally—to running a swim meet.

Even though I’ve spent my April learning about the equipment, fighting old software, fixing broken parts, fiddling with new computer programs, and trying not to buckle under the pressure, it’s definitely starting to get to me. I even got permission to hang around the computer table at two other meets and “shadow” how they do things. One lady called it “baptism by fire,” and she’s absolutely right.

I’ve lost sleep over this meet. Although people keep telling me that I’m not alone in this (and I know it’s true), it’s still going to be my responsibility to know how to run the computer correctly—and my job to know what to do when a problem inevitably comes up.

Had the first swim meet (where I mainly tried to observe and pick up tips) not already scarred me, I wouldn’t be so nervous. But my brain is one hardwired for these kinds of anxious thoughts, so now I’m just trying to stay afloat against the sea of worries in my mind.

Have you ever stepped up to the blocks for something you felt severely unqualified for, yet dove in headfirst anyway because someone had to?

I’m just waiting until tomorrow comes. I’ve spent hours each day preparing for this. And this, too, shall pass, right?

Until tomorrow comes. I’m simply doing what must be done.

Thanks for reading. ‘Til next time, wish me luck.

– Takuto